Blurred Lines Re-write

Hi guys. So I’m sick in bed today and Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke popped into my head, which I’m morally against but god damn is it catchy. So I decided I’d try to take the lyrics and tweak them to make them more “yeah, we want to have wild sex!” and less “I assume consent based on my interpretation of you signals because my interpretation must be correct and has never led to rape.” Without further ado, here it is (tweaks are bolder for faster reading):

[Intro: Pharrell]
Everybody get up
Everybody get up
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

[Verse 1: Robin Thicke]
If you can’t hear what I’m trying to say
If you can’t read from the same page
Maybe I’m going deaf,
Maybe I’m going blind
Maybe I’m out of my mind
[Pharell:] Everybody get up

[Pre-chorus: Robin Thicke]
OK now he was close, tried to domesticate you
But you’re an animal, said that it’s in your nature
Please let me liberate you
Hey, hey, hey
You don’t need no papers
Hey, hey, hey
We are not your makers

[Chorus: Robin Thicke]

And that’s why I’m gon’ take a good girl
I know you want it
You said you want it
So I know you want it
You’re a good girl
Can’t let it get past me
You’re far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted
I hate these blurred lines
So say you want it
Only if you want it
So I know you want it
And you’re a good girl
The way you grab me
Might wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me
[Pharell:] Everybody get up

[Verse 2: Robin Thicke]
What do they make dreams for
When you got them jeans on
What do we need steam for
You the hottest woman in here
I feel so lucky
Hey, hey, hey
If you wanna hug me
Hey, hey, hey
What rhymes with hug me?
Hey, hey, hey

[Pre-chorus: Robin Thicke]
OK now he was close, tried to domesticate you
But you’re an animal, said that it’s in your nature
Please let me liberate you
Hey, hey, hey
You don’t need no papers
Hey, hey, hey
We are not your makers

[Chorus: Robin Thicke]
And that’s why I’m gon’ take a good girl
I know you want it
You said you want it
So I know you want it
You’re a good girl
Can’t let it get past me
You’re far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted
I hate these blurred lines
So say you want it
Only if you want it
So I know you want it
And you’re a good girl
The way you grab me
Might wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me

[Verse 3: T.I.]
One thing I ask of you
Let me be the one you back that ass to
Go, from Malibu, to Paris, boo
Yeah, I had a woman, she ain’t bad as you
So hit me up when you passing through
I’ll give you something big enough to give you pleasure, boo
Swag on, even when you dress casual
I mean it’s almost unbearable
In a hundred years not dare, would I
Pull a Pharside let you pass me by
Nothing like your last guy, he too square for you
He don’t do that dirty stuff that you say you do
So I just watch and wait for you to salute
But you didn’t pick
Not many women can refuse this swagger
I’m a nice guy, but don’t get it if you get with me

[Bridge: Robin Thicke]
Shake the vibe, get down, get up
Do it like that mirth, like that mirth
What, you don’t like work?

[Pre-chorus: Robin Thicke]
Baby can you breathe? I got this from Jamaica
It always works for me, Dakota to Decatur, uh huh
No more pretending
Hey, hey, hey
Cause now you winning
Hey, hey, hey
Here’s our beginning

[Chorus: Robin Thicke]
I always wanted a good girl
(Pharell: Everybody get up)
I know you want it
You said you want it
So I know you want it
You’re a good girl
Can’t let it get past me
You’re far from plastic
Talk about getting blasted
I hate these blurred lines
So say you want it
Only if you want it
So I know you want it
But you’re a good girl
The way you grab me
Might wanna get nasty
Go ahead, get at me

[Outro: Pharrell]
Everybody get up
Everybody get up
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey

See, isn’t that much nicer? No? Well I’m feverish so cut me some slack. There’s only so much I can do to make the world more Rosanna-ey.

Complaints of a Millennial about Pre-Millennials

So lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) I’ve been reading a lot of articles about millennials. The overwhelming majority of which are written by non-millennials (specifically gen y and gen x-ers). These two generally fall under two categories, the “I-hate-lazy-entitled-millennials” category, or the “Go-easy-on-the-lazy-entitled-millennials” category. In both cases, we’re lazy and entitled.

Lazy and entitled? Where would you get that idea from?

Now, I’m not going to go into a blog post about why we aren’t lazy, entitled, no-gooders who just have sex, get pregnant (despite lowering rates of pregnancy), do drugs *despite lower rates of drug use) and shoot people because of video games (despite lowering rates in youth violence). For your entertainment, here are some great statistics about us anyway: STATS

And if you’d like a blog post talking about us from our perspective, there’s always “Open Letter from a Millenial: Quit Telling Us We’re Not Special“by Sierra or “Millennials: The Worst, Most Entitled, Most Spoiled Generation in the History of Humankind?” by Jennifer Wright.
But again, that’s not what this post is about. Instead of defending myself, I think I’d like to complain about gen y-ers and gen x-ers, or as I like to call them, “The ever looming potential employer.” Please be aware that this blog post is about my job hunt and no names will be mentioned. AND while I have had bad experiences which I will complain about, that doesn’t necessarily diminish the good ones that I’ve had; i.e. please do not let this stop you from hiring me.

1. This first point is the most annoying trait of pre-millennials (see how I summed up all of gen x and y to revolve solely around millennials in one word? “Pre-millennials.”) and that is that they are constantly reminding me, warning me rather, of my behavior. Not in the sense of “you should eat this, it’s healthy” but more in the sense of “don’t post that picture of you in a tankini on facebook! What if a potential employer sees that?” And I know that after writing this post, a pre-millennial will probably tell me to take it down because it will make potential employer (s/he’s a character now) cringe and guard their money.

First of all, don’t ask me for my facebook. I’ve never been asked for it in an interview before, but I know people who have, and it’s just wrong. Facebook was created to see who was having sex with who and while I may not be posting my list of “people to do,” I certainly don’t want you seeing the embarrassing opinions of that idiot guy I went out with for a while or my family’s baby pictures. My facebook is personal. Of course that doesn’t go for all social media, just facebook and tumblr (I may be missing a few).

What I’m trying to get at is: we are not perfect; you used to get up to drugs, sex, alcohol and a host of other things we haven’t done when you were young (and even now I’ll bet). The only difference is, we’re on the internet so private information quickly becomes public. We’ll happily keep our private information to ourselves but don’t expect us to sit at home twiddling our thumbs instead of living life (i.e. having a beer at the pub down the road before noon).

You’ll never get a job now! Never! You’ll also never get a promotion if you can’t have a drink with the boss.

2. My second annoyance is audacity of pre-millennials. I read an article my older cousin posted this morning called “20 Things 20-Year-Olds Don’t Get” (I get that you use one too many hyphens in your headline) by Jason Nazar. One of the points was:

”Adding “Proficient in Microsoft Office” at the bottom of your resume under Skills, is not going to cut it anymore.  I immediately give preference to candidates who are ninjas in: Photoshop, HTML/CSS, iOS, WordPress, Adwords, MySQL, Balsamiq, advanced Excel, Final Cut Pro – regardless of their job position.”

So what’s the problem Rosanna? The most qualified person gets the job. Well my problem, kind sir or madam, is that 1% of people are going to be able to be a ‘ninja’ at one of these things at the age of 20. Not only that, but having done internships and conversed about other people’s internships (in which a proficiency in WordPress matters little to the skill of carrying multiple cups of coffee and lunch), people over the age of 30 can’t even use Microsoft Word to half its potential. Again, the point is we aren’t perfect, and we’re not saying we are. If you want someone perfect, you’ll have to pay them. When you hire interns, you’re not supposed to be getting free labour, you’re supposed to be training us because we don’t know what we’re doing. We will make mistakes and we won’t know everything. And seriously, what person who’s not in video editing needs to be a ninja in Final Cut Pro?! (I admit, I have no idea what position Mr. Nazar is hiring for and maybe he is a rarity that pays his 20 year-olds, I don’t know).

Basically, don’t tell me I “HAVE to build [my] technical chops” when the vast majority of pre-millennials don’t even know how to insert a header (I had to do this at an internship, no joke). in millennial language, “dafuq you talkin’ ‘bout?”

Proficient in selfies.

3. It’s hard enough to get an internship, stop calling it a volunteer position. This is clearly a legal tactic so that you can have a billion interns to one paid manager. I once applied for an internship, got it, was listed as an assistant and then my contract said I was a volunteer. This is unacceptable. You want a volunteer? Ask for one. You want an intern? Give me my credit. Internships on resumes are looking like volunteer work to potential employer because they are unpaid. But that is my work experience. Because it’s an internship. Not free labour. INTERNSHIP. Say it with me now: internship. And no, I will not bring you coffee on a daily basis and then file some papers and reorganize your cabinets. Because you said I would get real experience in my field – I better get it. Yes, I EXPECT it. Because having spent my time and money on transportation, research on your industry and education, and having been accepted into said position, I AM ENTITLED to it.

Sisyphus is an intern.

4. Never mention money. People keep telling me that millennials are greedy and they always talk about money. I’ve had a few caring older people tell me “Don’t let them think you want money. You want their job, not their money.” Now, I appreciate your advice, and when you are looking to impress someone in an interview I can understand this. But “don’t talk about money”? Are you joking?

Now this doesn’t really apply to me because I was fortunate (read: privileged) enough to have my parents pay for my post-secondary education. But most millennials have bills to pay. Not just rent and food, but education debt. You know, the money they had to spend in order to be qualified enough to work for you for free?

And let’s not pretend that we don’t care about money. If you want your interns to not care about money, you need to hire someone who’s rich. We all want money, and the whole point of our internships is to get work experience to not only work in a field we love, but to make money so that we can afford to move out of our parents’ house and pursue the career that we love. We’re not materialistic, we’re realistic. Materealistic? I do believe I’ve just coined a phrase.

Eating cost money. Money good.

This post will probably become longer as I become more annoyed but will remain as it is now. As always, please feel free to add comments and gripes of your own under the comments.

Signed,

Rosanna, the from-now-on unemployed beggar

Corporate Communications & Public Relations

Centennial’s 2013 Corporate Communications and Public Relations program is almost done, so it’s time to reflect. So without further ado, here is my CCPR reflection blog post.

Well, first of all, it was really hard. So much work. You know when you’re in school and you always have that one “hell week” where assignments are due everyday and you have no time to complete them? Well, I’ve had three. At least. Communications is pressing work. At any given point,you have a million projects and one day to do them; no excuses!

So what was the best thing I learned at Centennial? It’s difficult to say; I’ve learned an entirely different form of writing, i.e. PR writing as opposed to academic writing; I’ve learned to organize and prioritize; I’ve met great people. Hmm. But I think maybe the best thing I’ve learned is the business placemat first developed by David Moorcroft. The placemat is a short, to the point communications plan that condenses all the necessary information into 2-4 pages. It’s incredibly efficient and helps to visualize the connection between communications and business.

It was difficult to get the hang of at first because it’s a lot of matching your statements to categories such as communications objectives and communications priorities – is there a difference? Believe me, there’s a difference. But you’ll have to enroll at Centennial to find out – or hire me one day?

Of course, the life skills were also important at Centennial. Particularly the ‘working with people you don’t agree with’ part. I was always taught in school to tough it out and assess everyone’s talents separately if you’re working on a project with people you don’t like, and that came in handy at Centennial. Apparently, some people aren’t taught that, so it was a great tool to put into my box (and onto my resume). I’ve worked with a lot of people in my class. From a purely personal point of view, some of them are great and some of them are a trial but as my mother always said, “you’ll meet all kinds of people in this life.” Indeed I have – and it’s only been 24 years!

Centennial has one thing that many universities don’t. And that’s real, practical experience. During this course I’ve had to do a real project for a client, create a newsletter that brands myself and now I’m going on to my internship, which the college helps you find. It’s as if I took eight months to attend a training program rather than a post-secondary program. And that’s what will count in the “real world.” That scary place where you actually get paid for your assignments instead of paying – gasp! Can’t wait.

Later my dears,

Rosanna

Brand Islam

I started fasting today for Ramadan and so far I’ve had a few people already say to me, “You fast?”  Indeed, I do fast and yes, I am a Muslim. I get this a lot because I present as a Westerner and that doesn’t tend to follow the brand of Islam that is portrayed in the media.

So let’s talk Brand Islam, i.e. the one created by Western mainstream media. Now, I’m not going to get into the horrible nature of the media that portrays Muslims as barbaric and/or silly Arabs who would kill you if you broke their nail. Instead I’m going to tell you some fun facts about myself, and I hope you’ll read them and think “Oh look, diversity within a religion of 1 billion people, who would’ve thought?” and not “Yeah, but you’re not a real Muslim.”

1. ‘Real’ Muslim women wear hijab, niqab or burqa

If you go to my about page, you’ll see that as long as it’s summer, I’m wearing shorts, tank tops and letting my hair fly. It’s not because I’m “liberal” or “Western”; it’s because the hijab was never a part of my life or culture. It was there, but I never even considered wearing one outside of a masjid or mosque. Besides this, the fabric won’t stay on my head so, you know, there’s that. Please don’t assume I’m not Muslim because I don’t wear hijab. Hijabis, please don’t act uppity. Non-hijabis, please don’t act like you’re somehow more educated than anyone else. It’s a cultural garment. Get over it.

2. ‘Real’ Muslims don’t drink alcohol.

I drink alcohol. It’s forbidden in the Q’uran. For me, it’s kind of like how shellfish and pork is forbidden in the Old Testament – I don’t really care. As a Caribbean person, it’s admittedly a part of my culture to drink a little bit – not that everyone drinks in the Caribbean; diversity and whatnot. It’s a bit like how drinking beer is part of Canadian culture. Anyway, again, this doesn’t make me any less Muslim. There are plenty of people of other faiths who don’t follow their books word for word but they are still of their religion.

3. ‘Real’ Muslims don’t eat pork.

I actually follow this one, but it’s not actually because pork is Satan chased into the sea or some other story like that. It’s also not because it’s unsanitary, a breeding ground for viruses etc., etc. I grew up in a Muslim family and we simply never served it. As a result, I have no desire to taste it or eat it nor have I ever. Strangely enough, I am repelled by it; I won’t consciously cook and eat from a pan that’s cooked pork and I won’t allow my friends to eat it when we go to the Korean Grill.

4. ‘Real’ Muslims worship Mohammed and believe the Q’uran was written by God.

First of all, we don’t worship Mohammed. There’s a tendency to liken Mohammed to Jesus but one of the tenets of Islam is to abstain from idolatry. Only worship God. Personally, I don’t really like Mohammed all that much. I do think he was progressive for his time, being a feminist and mostly a pacifist, but he’s not progressive for mine. And I don’t follow hadiths (stories and lessons of the Prophet, not part the Q’uran) because they aren’t the actual words of God and honestly, letting a 6th century male from halfway across the globe tell me how to live just doesn’t seem practical… or legal.

I also don’t really believe the Q’uran was the direct words of God spoken through Mohammed. I get that he was illiterate and he repeated it word for word each time he recited it and blah blah blah but it just doesn’t seem right to me. I couldn’t possibly explain why; I just don’t believe. Which a few of my more Western friends will tell me means I decidedly am not Muslim, but I know Catholic atheists so let’s move on.

5. Muslims are brown Arabs.

This really isn’t even worth discussing but it is a part of Brand Islam. Let’s get through this one quickly. I am:

A Canadian citizen

A Guyanese national

An ethnic Indian

I am brown, so that fits I suppose. But really, religion isn’t about skin colour. Don’t be silly. Also, since it is a religion of 1 billion, Islam obviously isn’t homogenous. We even have our own inner-issues such as racism, which wouldn’t much be possible if we all looked like Aladdin.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Obviously I don’t mean to say all Muslims are not Brand Islam or vice-versa. We’re people, too big a group to have any sort of reputation management. I only mean to say Islam is a religion, not a culture or a set of strict rules. And like other religions, some people are institutional and some people are spiritual. We have our agnostics, devotees and don’t-really-cares and we have me. I don’t know where I stand before the eyes of the Lord, if s/he really does exist and quite frankly, I don’t really care. I do what I do because it feels right for me, not to me. As it harm none, do as thou wilt.

Yeah, I ended my post with a pagan saying. And what? Feel free to comment on other aspects of Brand Islam as I couldn’t possibly list them all here.

Ideacity 2013

A week ago I was lucky enough to get a free pass to Ideacity through Centennial College to act as a Youth Delegate. I was told it was the Canadian TEDTalks but, to be honest, it wasn’t. That’s not to say it was bad or worse, it was just different and, as such, shouldn’t be compared. How is it different? Well, TEDTalks tend to be motivating, intellectual, social etc. Ideacity is more of a glimpse into the future; into potential technologies and scientific work. But enough about that, let’s talk about what it was.

Ideacity is broken down into a series of presentations over three days. These include presentations about animals, 3D printing and data management. Something I really enjoyed was, unsurprisingly, a common theme amongst the younger presenters: free, open source data.

The idea was that all data that could lead to future advancements should be free, not charged. Currently, reliable information comes from magazines that must pay for, which the normal person and in some cases some universities cannot even afford. Thus information becomes restricted. This is a topic I’m especially passionate about because, coming from a “third-world” country, information is limited. And the fact that we have to pay for more information, especially in this day and age where, even if I’m living in a “first-world” nation, I can’t afford anything, is ridiculous. How are we supposed to train and educate future generations (or current generations) without freedom of reliable information? Millennials, and therefore the futures of our countries, have poor access to information, despite having the internet.

The problem with the internet is that, although it may yield a lot of information, it’s unreliable. It’s user-generated content and not peer-reviewed or rather, not reviewed at all. If we could make reliable information free, as some publishers are doing, many more would have access to that information: people from different cultures, technologies, economies that can bring fresh, diverse looks into old and new concepts and technologies.

For instance, Michael Hearst did a presentation on unusual creatures and, in studying them, wrote theme music for them! Who would have considered creating music for different creatures based on their characteristics but someone from a musical background? Hearing a song dedicated to the Giant Chinese Salamander, although it isn’t necessarily the greatest development in the history of zoology, would not have been possible with access to information.

By the way, you can listen to that song on Hearst’s youtube:

Let’s be honest though, I went to Ideacity to find a rich person I could marry. Unfortunately I failed; but I did come out with a mind full of new ideas and thoroughly enlightened with glimpses into the future.

Til next time,

Rosanna

Tourism – London’s Public Relations

I am currently in London, England, sitting down, having a fresh baguette (pretending that I can’t get that in Canada) while my dad watches cricket on his laptop because he doesn’t want to spend an exorbitant amount of money on Kennington Oval tickets. The rest of my family is out at the museums, tapping into their inner colonial.

I ditched school this week to go on a family trip to London, the ‘Motherland’ as we (descendants of the colonies) call it. It’s my first time and I gotta say, it’s surprisingly tourist friendly.

For instance, as soon as you land, you are surrounded by places to buy souvenirs, universal adaptors, maps etc. Sure, that’s just the airport, you say – but it seems to be everywhere! Yesterday we went on a sight-seeing bus tour, like proper tourists, and every street had some sort of the same store. The area we’re staying, Bayswater, has about five stores of the sort on the way to the subway.

But that’s not necessarily good evidence of tourism friendly behaviour. Let’s move on. When I first came, I was afraid of the Tube (the subway). But, can you believe, at every other stop the robo-voice announced the attractions and the interchange stations? To put this into context, could you imagine hearing “Dupont Station, exit here for Casa Loma,” and “Union Station, exit here for CN Tower, Rogers Centre, etc. etc. etc.” everyday on your way to work? Seems annoying to me, but maybe I’m not a nice person. Anyway, it’s great fr tourists – I never got lost on the tube and I never got lost looking for attractions.

You’d think I’d get lost on the street though. In Toronto, there are no maps except of the inside of buildings and after living there for seven years, I still get lost in the PATH. Well, not so with London. Perhaps it’s not for tourists but for residents that there are maps at every major intersection – so that you don’t have to stop a stranger in the street and ask where so-and-so street is. Sure, for some this is part of the tourist experience, it certainly is in Toronto, but I’m shy and much more likely to wander the streets for hours before asking for help. And by the way, never ask me for directions in Toronto because I’m always confusing my east and west and I WILL send you the wrong way.

Back to London, this is why I find it so tourist-friendly. Even the atmosphere is – Londoners don’t get annoyed by tourists, nor do they seem to find them so surprising. No one minds when you stand in the middle of the sidewalk to take a picture of Big Ben or open a big map in the middle of the tiny subway carriages. And no one minds sharing the tiny road with sight-seeing buses (the roads are already so small and crowded). I suppose this could be because I’m coming in summer (summer in terms of time, not weather) which is a high period for tourists in any country, so they aren’t surprised.

The people are also very nice to me; I’ve had some translation issues. For instance, I asked the bartender for a cooler and he looked at me and said “Is a pepsi all right?” I was baffled until my sister said I meant a Smirnoff Ice and told me he thought I said “Cola.” Who says cola? Apparently the British.

Probably the only thing not tourist-friendly are the roads. They are windy and nausea-inducing. Not to mention, never forget, pedestrians do not have the right of way like they do in Toronto. Cars will not pause or slow down to make sure there’s no one there. It’s a bit scary until you get used to it.

All in all, the City of London is very tourist-friendly. Their PR towards tourists is great and I have not yet felt unwelcome or uncomfortable. I suppose this is because they are used to being lost and unwanted in foreign lands. Oh snap – yeah, I did just make a colony joke.

‘Til next time,

Rosie

Me and Scott Dean

Hello little birds! Here’s a small update on my TIFF experience! Unfortunately I’ve only gone to one screening this year (so far) but it turned out to be great! The film was called Promocion Fantasma, a Spanish John Hughes teen comedy tribute – so much fun! If you do ever get a chance to watch this, do do DO! Especially if you love John Hughes like my darling sister. There’s even a pre-english Shakira song for those of us who like her old stuff~

By the way, while waiting in the rush line I met Scott Dean (who you may have seen playing Henry on iCarly) who’s in Toronto promoting a short film he’s in, H’mong Sisters. I haven’t seen it yet so I can’t say if its good or not but TIFF selected it so my opinion is of no import! Here’s my picture with the actor who will hopefully go on to do MASSIVE projects – just so that I could say I met him “before he was cool!”

– Rosie

TIFF ON A BUDGET!

The Toronto International Film Festival is here again! Which means a lot of people are coming into our fabulous city – A lot of famous people, rich people, pretty people and the like. All those people we’ve all wanted to meet who we think will fall instantly in love with us on sight, that is, until they do see us, grace us with an autograph or photo, and then walk away.

Yes, the Toronto International Film Festival turns the city into a true Hollywood North, with all the glitz and glamour, A-list (but mostly b and c-list) sightings and night time parties at venues that manage to make the LCBO’s prices look decent.

Unfortunately, not all of us are going to get into those parties (kudos to the crashers), premieres and hotels. And not all of us know someone on the inside who will help us get a glimpse of that fame we all love. But what a lot of people don’t realize is that stars don’t just magically turn up at their premieres and parties – they have transportation. Yes, a lot of this is done in secret but there is always a window of opportunity. Otherwise your favorite celebrity should fire his publicist!

Mostly, since you’re on a budget, you’ll see b and c-listers, but I find they are usually much more interesting since they actually have to pretend they care~! Here are the places to hang around for TIFF 2012. So here’s a list for all of us unabashed wannabes, stalkerazzis, and just people looking to save a dime and still catch a sighting to brighten our day and brag about online. Here is the (un)official TIFF-Celebs-On-A-Budget List!

The Yorkville Rock

Situated near to Remys, Hemingways, the Hazelton, Four Seasons and other glitzy Yorkville hotels, if you want a free far-away celebrity spotting, the Yorkville Rock (or the Rock of India to those in the know) is the place to be. Yorkville was once the ultimate destination for TIFF, before King West divided celebrity locations, but that doesn’t mean it’s died! Now, I know when you hear Yorkville you think “so expensive!” but sitting on the rock on Cumberland street costs absolutely nothing. Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky and see that c-lister you liked on that one show, you know the one, walk right past you to go for some Yoco Froyo across the street.

Hotel Doorways/Sidewalks

The Hazelton, The Thompson, The Shangri-La and The Ritz-Carlton. Maybe the Intercontinental as well. Hotels are prime spots to see your favorite celebs, if you’re willing to wait. In fact, the Ritz Carlton was kind enough to create a very open entrance for star-gazers and paparazzi alike to grab a coffee, stand up and chill out while looking out for dark black cars pulling up. Keep in mind, you definitely won’t get a photo with your celeb but you’ll definitely see them!

Hotel Bars

Hotels have bars, people. And best of all, they accept everyone! Well, everyone over 19. This isn’t the most ideal suggestion for on-a-budget celebrity and glitz living, since you’ll have to buy a drink (save at least $16 for one of these!) but if you can manage to buy one, and nurse that baby for a while, then you might have a better chance of rubbing shoulders, or air as it were, with a celebrity staying in that hotel. Some good bars will be the Toca Bar at the Ritz-Carlton ($16 Martinis) and as ever, One at Hazelton ($7.95 for 1.5 oz of Capt. Morgan).

King Street West

With your budget, you’re not going to go to Brassaii, Nikki Beach at the Spoke Club or Spice Route. Fortunately for you, there are cheap alternatives on King St. West! Along the street there are a lot of patios with affordable dining, such as Dazzling or Gabby’s, or the eternal go-to, Starbucks! Grab something to eat or drink and chill out on the patio, keeping your eyes peeled for some limos. Of course, if you are going to be spending money eating something, you could always get a drink and an appetizer at Remy’s or Hemingways in Yorkville, both with rooftop patios for celebrity spotting (about $13 for an app). Either way, for a nice evening out and an excuse to go celebrity spotting without having to admit it to those judgmental work friends, the cheaper patios around King St. West, particularly those across from the TIFF Bell Lightbox, are the places to be.

Volunteer

Every year, TIFF looks for more than 2,000 volunteers to help rip tickets, manage lines and deal with the public. And they always invite back volunteers from years past. This is a great way to get to see a celeb you like, though you probably shouldn’t count on it, especially in your first year. But get past your first year and you can volunteer at Roy Thompson Hall events, or, even in your first year, you can spot some celebrities at Ryerson Theatre premieres (did someone say Midnight Madness?). Stick at it long enough and you can try volunteering as an airport greeter – that person who walks a celebrity from the arrivals lounge to their car. Exciting, right? As for me, I got lucky enough to do a lock-down (where the volunteers form a human chain against fans) for Matt Damon and Michael Douglas – so exciting! You know, besides the awkwardness of your entire body being pushed against a celebrity old enough to be your dad by excited fans.

Of course you won’t be greeting any major A-listers, that’s for the people who get paid, so don’t expect to greet Kiera Knightley or Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but you can hope for some b and c-listers and definitely foreign stars and directors. The year I did aiport greeting I got to speak to Apichatpong Weerasethakul (director of Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives) and walk with Aidan Quinn. Besides meeting these celebs, volunteers get great perks! Ushering in the theatres, volunteers get to watch some of the films for free and for each shift you get a voucher to watch a film. Did someone say free movies? Well, no, you do have to work four hours for each voucher but hey, if you have a friend doing it then I guess it is free?

Run!

By far the most guaranteed way to see your favorite celebrity for free is by running (and subway-ing) between TIFF screening venues. Last year, my sister and I went running around for a day around Toronto, hoping to catch a glimpse of some celebs on their red carpet premieres and guess what? It worked! We got some photos of Juliette Lewis, Val Kilmer, Jamie Campbell Bower and my sis even got one with Xavier Samuel on his way to the premiere of Anonymous. And those are only photos. We also saw a couple other celebrities, such as K’Naan and some we didn’t even know about all over Toronto for the Festival. So if you really want that photo, my best advice to you would be to get to that red carpet – early – and take some photos! Roy Thompson Hall is probably the hub but keep an eye out for films premiering at the Elgin Winter Garden, where we easily got our photos on the way into the subway.

Happy hunting, little birds! And if you do take this advice, don’t forget to send some photos our way!

– Rosie